Wednesday, August 23, 2006

I don't feel well

For the past few days, I've realized that something is wrong. The problem with diagnosing it is that I can't say, "I have a migraine" or "I think I have a sinus infection" because I don't have a list of symptoms that I can describe. I have had a headache part of the time, but it's not the main problem. I have been sleepless, which is incredibly odd for me. Maybe one night every few months something (other than Kevin) will wake me up overnight but this has been many days in a row now. I am consistently waking up multiple times overnight either sitting up in bed or out in the hallway thinking that there is something I was supposed to do. I usually call these "stress dreams" but they're usually based on a particular stressor that I've always been able to pinpoint.

There is nothing in particular stressing me out this week. And I am not only sleepless, I feel.... icky. That doesn't clarify anything, does it? Physically, I don't feel well but, like I said, there's no list of symptoms that I can use to describe how I don't feel well. I just don't feel well, all over.

My brain doesn't feel right, either. It feels muddled and clouded yet it seems to be working just fine. I've gotten Kevin to preschool when he needs to be there, done a huge grocery shopping trip, worked at my job, prepared for tonight's small group gathering at our house, etc. I guess my brain doesn't feel well all over either.

I'm confused and frustrated that I can't figure this out. I'd like to feel better not just to feel better (this really isn't as bad as, say, being nauseous all the time) but to be better to my family and friends. I'm more impatient and short-tempered than I usually am but I can't figure out how to cut it off.

Sleep would probably help but there is no precedent in my life to know what to do to fix that.

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