Parenting, Week #4

Some things I miss:

1. The Simpsons
   
2. Free time
   
3. Peaceful meals
   
4. Timing my activities by my own choice
   
5. Quiet bedtime
   
6. CSI: Crime Scene Investigation
   
7. Weekends
   
8. Knowing how to be a good parent
   

Kevin helped me clean up some of our cherry tomato plants in the garden. He was scared of the plants themselves but was able to pick up loose tomatoes and put them in the wheelbarrow for me. 

Kevin loves to dance. When he hears music, he just can't help but move! This is him dancing to his LeapPad "FridgePhonics" game that his cousins gave him. 

My titles should be created post-post

I titled my last post "Immunizations, Playdates and Tantrums - Oh My!" and I never mentioned immunizations or playdates in the post. Pardon the misleading title. The Title box is at the top of the composition page, so I always type it in first. Then my mind goes here, there, and everywhere else while I'm actually typing up my post. I know, this isn't the first time it's happened. However I do usually catch the problem before publishing my post.

Anyway, Kevin is as cute and aggravating as ever :-) Like Keith said in his comment to my previous post, he sounds like a normal kid. He is, and we're normal parents who get aggravated and yet find his wide-open mouth full of dinner so darn cute sometimes (but only sometimes.)

Today I talked to my boss about going back to work part-time instead of full-time. It was never my plan to go back full-time, but I wasn't prepared ahead of time to make plans for that with my coworkers. I did mention to the higher-ups that after I was out for a few weeks, I'd need flexibility because I didn't know what needs Kevin would have (which is certainly true.)

So it looks like I'll be working at the office 2 days a week and then spending a few hours each week working from home. That time will probably be spent reading and answering emails more than actual software development, but I will be purchasing a new computer and probably upgrading my connection (I use dialup now) so that all of the resources of my company will be available from/to my home computer.

I'll try to post a picture or two of Kevin. I can't remember whether I have the software installed here that posts pictures to Blogger "easily" (I've yet to figure out how the software is supposed to work - I fight it and fight it until something shows up on my blog and then I shut it down in a state of confusion with no idea how the picture was successfully posted.

I hope all of you are doing well. It's amazing how far away from my life of 4 weeks ago I feel... I suppose I am that far away in some sense, but I'm still more connected than I probably realize. What a change being a parent is - utterly unbelievable.

Immunizations, Playdates and Tantrums - Oh My!

We're home. All three of us. HOME.

We actually had a very nice trip. We couldn't have paid for better accomodations than those provided by our friends, Elesa and Jeff, for nothing. Their kids were wonderful, too. We had the chance to spend time alone when we needed it and together with the others when we were ready. We were very comfortable there and they took such great care of us. We even had to take Kevin to the pediatrician while we were there and they set that all up for us! And Elesa is a great driver and tour guide, among everything else that she's great at :-)

We arrived in Guatemala City on Saturday around 1:15 pm and Elesa picked us up at the airport and took us back to her house. We got the grand tour and put our belongings in our beautifully set up and hosted room. There were toys for Kevin, chocolates for us, and even our own bathroom! About 2 hours later (which felt like forever while we were just waiting) 2 assistants to our attorney brought Kevin to us. He was shy and a little scared; very quiet. The assistants helped us fill out some paperwork that we'd need at the Embassy and then they left. That was it! And we never got to meet the foster mom.

Matchbox cars, stuffed animals, books, and crayons didn't break the ice, but a few glasses of water (Kevin sweats a lot!) and some soccer helped our relationship begin. Thinking back to that day is amazing because it was only 2 weeks ago, yet it feels like an eternity. It feels like we were all different people then than we are now. I suppose we are, but it's hard to believe that much would've changed in such a short amount of time!

On Sunday, we went to Antigua which is about 45 minutes by car to the west of Guatemala City. We bought a few items at the markets and mostly just walked around. Kevin seemed fine with us although he wouldn't let us put him down to sit or walk by himself. It made for a very tiring few days!! And it made our broken stroller that we picked up in baggage claim in GC a moot point.

When we arrived home on Wednesday night, our friend, Kirsten, who picked us up at the airport told us that we couldn't stay at our house because the fumes from our floors being refinished were too strong. The flooring guys suggested that we not stay there, so we went to Kirsten's house instead. We returned to our house on Thursday in the middle of the day to what Kevin saw as a large gymnasium just for him and all of his toys! (we had no furniture in the living room or dining room so it was a big open play area and he could kick and throw and chase balls with no obstacles.)

Fast-forward to today.... I'm still at home from work while Andy returned to his job last Tuesday. Kevin has transitioned into our family better than anyone would have anticipated. Now instead of dealing with his insecurities and trust issues, we're already dealing with toddler tantrums and purposeful misbehavior!

I know that I've left out a lot of details, but I don't want to take too much time writing this and I don't want to wait any longer to at least say, "Hi! We're home and doing well!" So, here it is - it's all that you get for now. That is, if any of you are still out there and waiting to hear from me :-)

Denouement

A few weeks ago, we thought we were on the verge of traveling to Guatemala to bring Kevin home. For various reasons, that didn't work out. Neither did each day or few days in between then and now when we thought, "This time is it!" Now that we know we're leaving in 2 days (that's the day after tomorrow, for crying out loud!) I can't get very excited.

I thought I was just depressed that we weren't going sooner this week. Then I thought I must have a subconscious thought that things won't work out. Then I wondered if maybe I'm stuffing my feelings down inside so that I can function this week while working and finalizing important details of our trip.

I believe I have the answer now and it's none of the above. I think my excitement level peaked through those other weeks when I thought we were going. Now I have no excitement energy left for the real thing.

Granted, the knots that have started growing in my stomach during the first few hours of my last day at work for awhile are proof that I do have emotions and that I'm going to be hyper about the trip, but I wonder if it won't be more of a nervous anxiety about the details rather than pure excitement of meeting and bringing Kevin home. Well, either way, I'm due for a migraine afterward - my head is an equal-opportunity stress thermometer - good stress, bad stress... it's all stress.

We really are leaving this time

We're leaving for Guatemala in 3 days! This Saturday, 10/2, we'll head to Guatemala City and we'll return to Maryland on Wednesday, 10/6. That's a longer-than-necessary trip because we're having work done on our house next Tuesday and Wednesday and this way we won't be returning in the middle of it.

We plan to go to the Embassy on Monday to get Kevin's visa. The rest of the time we'll be laughing and smiling and playing and... well, there will probably also be lots of crying, maybe some screaming, and all that jazz. But, it will all be worthwhile and we're looking forward to it. We're packed and ready to go except for a couple of small errands to do at the last minute.

Coincidence?

Yesterday afternoon, the thought crossed my mind that maybe Kevin wouldn't need the bed rail that we bought for him. Or that maybe he'll just need it to feel safe, more closed-in.

I woke up in the middle of the night last night a fraction of a second before crashing into the floor. I rolled off the bed in my sleep.

He's been our son for 21 days

It turns out we were waiting for Kevin's birth certificate. The attorney had to apply to the Civil Registry in Kevin's birth city to have a new birth certificate issued with our last name as his and with our names listed as his parents. Apparently, this took a week longer than the attorney expected. He finally received it yesterday. I thought that meant he'd be able to apply for our pink slip to travel but, no, it just means that now he has all of the papers ready for translation. I have no idea how long that takes. I decided not to ask.

When are we leaving? (Part 2)

See Part 1 here. To make a long story short... We don't know when we're leaving!

Don't tell our agency, but I already booked our flights. They're unrestricted tickets so that we can change them without penalty. And we will have to change them, but maybe only the return date. That depends on what we hear today, which could be the same as we've heard for the past few days - "Any day now! We just need this one paper to come through!" Grrr....

Serial Dream

For the past few nights, I've had dreams of our trip to meet Kevin. Each night the dream goes a little farther and last night's took me all the way to meeting Kevin and a little beyond! I woke up excited and peaceful (vs. excited and anxious or nervous) because the meeting went smoothly and Kevin took to us fairly quickly, at least enough to seem comfortable with us. After the meeting, the dream moved to a short time after and we were in another location. Kevin was in a separate room from us and we heard a thud and then he screamed. I ran in and saw he had pinched his hand in something and my brain registered that there was nothing I could do for him because he'd just have a bruise. Then I realized that I could give him a hug! So I held him and rocked him and his tears subsided and I felt like the luckiest woman alive to have him in my arms and to be able to soothe him. I eventually handed him over to Andy's lap and he got some snuggle time, too.

The I's Have It

This morning I stepped outside to survey the damage from the remnant of Hurricane Ivan. It's only a nameless storm now, packing winds describable as a strong breeze. There are no tree limbs down in our yard and the electricity is still on. The rain stopped falling sometime early this morning.

To the folks south of us, this nameless storm spawned a flurry of tornadoes. In Central and Northern Virginia and a few areas in Maryland there were multiple tornadoes yesterday afternoon and evening. It was scary as we watched the radar maps on the TV to see the many pockets of strong storms with torrential rains and seeing how many of them had circular air patterns that could easily turn into more tornadoes. Peoples' homes are devastated.

Last year on this day, I stepped outside to survey the damage from Hurricane Isabel, who was a tropical storm when she blew through our area. She left a mess here. We had tree limbs down, no electricity for 5 days (that was a new experience for me), and folks on the shores of the Chesapeake Bay and its tributaries suffered serious flooding.

How many events indicate a pattern? I'm not sure that 2 is enough - so here's hoping that next year's storm during the 3rd week of September isn't Ingrid, Ivana, Ira, or Ian.

P.S. As I prepare to post this message, our lights are flickering and the rain has begun falling again.

I Don't Have A Crystal Meth Lab In My Basement (in case Wal-Mart is wondering)

I went to Wal-Mart last night to pick up some supplies for our trip to Guatemala. I also needed to get some medicine for Andy who has a cold brewing in his head. We really don't want to be sick for our trip.

I got 2 packs of daytime cold relief, a pack of nighttime cold relief, a bottle of Mucinex for myself (which I previously wrote about), and a bottle of children's decongestant for Kevin. The cashier got a message when the bottle of children's medicine scanned. She tried it again, read the message more completely, and then set the bottle to the side. She told me my total amount due. I asked what happened to the medicine. She said she couldn't sell it to me. "Why not?" "Because it's against federal law." "But it was on your shelf. What is illegal about it?" She replied that I can't buy more than 3 cold medicine products at one time. She handed me the bottle and said that I could go to another register and buy it there. I paid for my purchases and told her to keep the bottle of children's decongestant, wondering whether I had bought too many different kinds of medication or too many boxes total?

I found out on the Web today that there is a federal law against purchasing a certain amount of products containing pseudoephedrine at one time. This is supposed to curb the home-brewing of crystal methamphetamine. I also found this comment in an article in the Des Moines Register:

Congress in 1996 passed the Methamphetamine Control Act, requiring retailers to keep records and report on anyone buying a certain amount of pseudoephedrine. To avoid paperwork, many retailers set their own limits on the number of packages that can be purchased at a time. Some have cash registers programmed to notify clerks when the limit is passed.

I must've crossed Wal-Mart's threshold in the number of boxes of medications containing pseudoephedrine (Mucinex doesn't contain it.) I guess I should've just gotten a bigger box of the daytime cold relief instead of 2 smaller boxes and then I could've purchased the children's medication, too. And then I'd be able to make even more crystal meth.

When are we leaving?

The lawyer told our agency that our "pink slip" (which gives us permission to visit the Embassy to get Kevin's visa) will be requested Friday or Monday. This means that we will likely travel to Guatemala next Wednesday (if the slip is requested tomorrow) or Saturday (if the slip is requested on Monday.) Yeehaw!

P.S. We'll find out Friday evening whether the pink slip was requested or not so that's when we'll know what day to make our airline reservations for.

My favorite picture of Kevin so far. He's such a cutie! 

This is our son, Kevin, with his foster mother. August 2004 

That's our little guy in the blue fleece jacket. He apparently likes lollipops! 

The hope on my wrist

I'm wearing a bracelet that I purchased from the Watoto Children's Choir on Sunday. It is beaded with a leather backing. It doesn't match my clothes, but I chose it because it has orange beads in it, which remind me of the bright-colored clothing that the kids and adults of Watoto wore when they came to our church.

I found out from Watoto's website that the jewelry and dolls they sell are made by the women of the Masai tribe in Kenya. Wow... the bracelet touching my wrist was touched by African women in their homeland. Buying this offers them support. And it serves as a reminder to me to pray for them and for the children of Watoto whose parents have died from AIDS.

This bracelet may not match my clothes, but it serves a far greater purpose than fashion.

Happy Independence Day, Central America!

Today is Independence Day in Central America, including Guatemala, where Kevin is. To our adoption process, this means that all of the offices are closed for the day and no business will be transacted. To our hearts, this means that our son will be celebrating with his fellow countrymen, steeped in his birth culture. We wish we could be there to join the celebration, but this year finds us on our home soil, trying to save our vacation days. Perhaps another year we will travel to Guatemala to celebrate a holiday or two. In the meantime, we'll make due with celebrating our son's birth country in our country.

I pray that our lives reflect a constant celebration of our own cultures and those around the world. We are, after all, each of us human and we share more common threads than differences.

Watoto Children's Choir

We had the privilege at church this morning to welcome the Watoto Children's Choir from Uganda, Africa. The children of Watoto Child Care are orphans of the HIV/AIDS epidemic in Africa. They sing and dance in praise of Jesus and were such a joy to watch and meet.

Check out their website for more info: http://watoto.com/