Tuesday, April 22, 2008

Sewing With Dianne

Hello and welcome to today's show. On this exciting episode, Dianne will display how NOT to sew a simple pair of shorts for her son.

What could be easier than sewing a pair of 4-panel shorts with an elastic waistband? A no-sew fleece scarf, perhaps? Not much, that's for sure! But stay tuned as we learn the many disasters lurking within the pattern, fabric and bobbin just waiting for their chance to spring loose!

At this time the producers of this program would like to state a warning that viewers with weak hearts may be susceptible to holy outbursts ("Oh my Goodness!", "My Word!" and such) when viewing these graphic images.

Behold Exhibit A. The ungathered gathering of the elastic waistband. In Dianne's defense, it was her first time ever sewing an elastic waistband. But still.

Exhibit B. This is a prime example of how not to sew a hem. Nowhere in the instructions does the pattern call for pleats and yet Dianne creatively added approximately 5 (one of them might be a wayward dart) to the hem of this garment.

Exhibit C. It's hard to see what's going on here what with all of the wrinkles at the top of the shorts, but look lower, near the hem. The arc above the hem was a simple mistake of catching the fabric from underneath when finishing off the inside edge with a zig-zag stitch. Proper patience and perseverance were displayed during the ripping out of the seam but people! The twill! It does not forgive!

Thanks for joining us for today's episode of "Sewing With Dianne." Tune in next time when will be heard such comments as, "How do you make a button hole there?" and "You want me to do *what* with the crotch seam?" Don't miss the fun!

1 comment:

Bets said...

D Rhode's mother has an expression that I always recall in moments like those.

"That would never be seen from a galloping horse."

Or, in this case, those things will never be seen on the a running elementary-schooler.