Monday, October 06, 2008

I change, you change

Yesterday I helped with the kids during second service at church and as we approached the building Kevin said, "I've never been to second service - I wonder what it's like!" We always go to first service but there have been a few times we've gone to second, I guess we just haven't done that since having Kevin. I told a friend about it and said, "So it's been over..." (pause while I consider how long ago October 2004 was, when Kevin came home) "... 4 years - oh my gosh! Last week was our anniversary of meeting Kevin!"

I've been saying, "He's been home for 3 1/2 years" for awhile and hadn't considered that we'd already passed the 4 year mark. Oops. I'm not that far overdue, at least. Today is the anniversary of us flying home from Guatemala, Kevin's first time setting foot in the United States. It wasn't until Oct 7th that he stepped foot into his new house as we had to spend our first night at the Sitnick's house because ours smelled too strongly from having our wood floors refinished while we were away.

Here are links to my posts regarding previous anniversaries. Seems that I missed it last year, too.

2005 - 1-yr anniversary
2006 - 2-yr anniversary
2007 - 3-yr anniversary

How has Kevin changed? Mostly, he's changed like any other 2 1/2-year old changes by the time he's 6 1/2 years old. But he's also grown from a scared, quiet, clingy, eating machine into a social, expressive, hanger-on-for-basic-safety-but-not-out-of-fear, eating machine.

Perhaps the bigger change has been in me. I've changed from a beaten down, life-hating, tired, angry, selfish person who had a kid in the way of her life to a sometimes sparkling, sometimes life-loving, only sometimes tired, and sometimes unselfish person who can say to Kevin, "It's ok that you woke me up with your coughing - I only want to help you feel better and that is more important than me being grumpy in the morning."


Anonymous said...

Congratulations. It is an odd little celebration to remember, meaning it is a huge deal but how does one mark that day. It is like when I changed my name from John to Jon, now it is just part of me. I don't back to when I was John. I know there is something profound here I'm just not putting it into words... keep up the amazing work.

elesa said...

I remember those first few nights with Kevin - the hand-wringing, staying up all night, fear of water, never wanting to be put down, dislike of the color orange (lol) and rabid consumption of pizza. I will never forget that blessing of seeing your new family at the moment of its inception (give or take a couple hours!). Remember we went to the store to buy an umbrella stroller for Kevin for the few days you would be in Guatemala and he never let you put him down - let alone in that stroller - even once? BUT he did let me hold him for a while that one time and that was wonderful. It seems like way longer than 4 years, though.

TeamDandy said...

JD - I agree that it is an odd celebration. The overriding opinion among adopting families is that it's very important to celebrate the day that the family united for the first time. It wasn't on the child's birthday, as in most families, and there are not memories and stories of "I remember the day you were born..." So I go back and forth on whether it's something we should be more intentional about or not.

Elesa - yeah, he was a petrified little boy and I'm surprised anyone can make it through something like that! I love the picture we have of you holding him in your dining room in GT because I remember how incredibly special that was. I love it that you're such a big part of his life still.