School Picture

I pledge that next year I will, before the morning of the day school pictures will be taken, make sure Kevin has a suitable shirt that is a good color for him to wear in his portrait.

 

The photographer made Kevin say, "I love girls" to get that grin and a hint of neck scrunch.

The bird kind

Kevin and I played Rush Hour, Jr. before dinner and we are missing one of the cars so I substituted a different one of the same size in its place. Kevin said, "Yeah, you just need another 'two-bee' to use instead. Haha, 'two-bee,' 'blue-bee,' 'boo-bee.' You need boobies!" I wasn't sure if he's heard that word used at school before so I just kept my mouth shut to see how he reacted. After my pause he said, "You know, boobies!" I said, "Like Blue-footed Boobies?" He said, "Yeah, like those." Nary a giggle from the kid. Still safe, for now.

Conversation

This conversation took place on Friday evening during another of Kevin's playdates at our house. This one, however, was not with a giggling girl telling Kevin she's in love with him.

Note: No weapons mentioned in this conversation were used against one another.

Kevin: I want to use the sword.
Z: No, I want to use the sword. You use the gun.
Kevin: No, I want the sword. YOU use the gun.
Me: Why don't you take turns?
Kevin: Good idea.
Z: Let's do "rock, paper, scissors" to see who gets the sword first.
Kevin: Ok!

I think we adults should consider using "rock, paper, scissors" more often.

A bird in the hand

 

Today we visited the bird banding project at Eden Mill in Harford County. Kevin helped let go a couple of the birds including this White-throated Sparrow. These sparrows are only in our area when they're not breeding, so they've just returned from up north to stay here for the winter.

Conversation

Kevin has a (girl) friend over for a playdate today. I just overheard this conversation.

J: Kevin, guess what?
Kevin: What?
J: I'm in love with... *giggle*...
Kevin: What?
J: *giggle* I'm in love with... *giggle*... can you guess?
Kevin: *laughing* With what?
J: You! *giggle*
Kevin: Don't say that!
J: But I LOVE YOU, Kevin! *giggle*
Kevin: Don't tell anyone.
J: *giggle* Ok, you either. Especially not your dad.
Kevin: Don't tell your mom.
J: She already knows.

 

I had a dream last night that I was a nerd

Last night I dreamt that everyone on Earth was going to die and there was nothing we could do about it. Everyone handled the situation differently - a number of senior citizens where I was got all dressed up and had an extravagant dinner at the fanciest, most expensive restaurant around. Some people just couldn't admit there was no way around our demise and tried to convince everyone that they had a plan to save us. I found myself walking around, observing the different reactions. I was scared and sad and I slit one of my wrists in an effort to speed up the process - I certainly didn't want to be the last one to keel over and die, watching everyone else do the same first.

After some time, those of us still alive noticed that as the sun was rising over the horizon, nobody had died recently. We began to wonder if we actually weren't going to die after all - 99.9% of the world died, but we were the chosen few who didn't. I checked my wrist and instead of the group of bloody slashes I'd seen previously, there were a few faint scars where I'd quickly healed.

Looking around at the others that were left and who had conveniently gathered together in some sort of town square, I didn't think about why we were saved and the others weren't or what to do with all of the dead bodies or how were we going to choose a group of leaders. No, what I yelled out to the group was...

"This gene pool is way too small for effective repopulation!"

Call it what it is

A few weeks ago, Kevin received a birthday party invitation in the mail. He asked me to read it to him, so I did.

 

He was excited for the party and had a great time with the moon bounce, play house and swingset in his friend's backyard. The only Hannah Montana items were some paper goods.

When we got home, I commented on how nice it was that his friend invited him to her party and that I was glad he had fun and that he better make sure not to leave that favor bag on the living room floor.

His response was, "It was fun but it wasn't a rockin' party. The invitation said, 'You're invited to a rockin' party' but it wasn't rockin'."
 

"I'm picking up your sarcasm." "Well, I should hope so, because I'm laying it on pretty thick."*

After breaking the exciting news to one of my closest, dearest, truest friends, she replied with this comment.

you were THAT close to greatness?

i think that lance armstrong sat behind you in homeroom, too.

Snarky is as snarky does, Elesa.

*Do you know what movie the title is from?

Do you recognize this woman?

Below is a photo I took of my 8th grade yearbook. The woman in the picture was my home economics teacher in 6th and 8th grades. She was really fun, which you probably have to be to teach a bunch of middle schoolers how to cook, sew and wash their faces properly. When I was in 7th grade, in 1985, I had a different teacher for home ec but I remember this teacher being pregnant as she walked around the halls of school.

Her note says, "I'll never forget making those blue & white shorts. That was a riot. Take care & have a fun summer. Much happiness..."

 

Can you read that signature?

 

I change, you change

Yesterday I helped with the kids during second service at church and as we approached the building Kevin said, "I've never been to second service - I wonder what it's like!" We always go to first service but there have been a few times we've gone to second, I guess we just haven't done that since having Kevin. I told a friend about it and said, "So it's been over..." (pause while I consider how long ago October 2004 was, when Kevin came home) "... 4 years - oh my gosh! Last week was our anniversary of meeting Kevin!"

I've been saying, "He's been home for 3 1/2 years" for awhile and hadn't considered that we'd already passed the 4 year mark. Oops. I'm not that far overdue, at least. Today is the anniversary of us flying home from Guatemala, Kevin's first time setting foot in the United States. It wasn't until Oct 7th that he stepped foot into his new house as we had to spend our first night at the Sitnick's house because ours smelled too strongly from having our wood floors refinished while we were away.

Here are links to my posts regarding previous anniversaries. Seems that I missed it last year, too.

2005 - 1-yr anniversary
2006 - 2-yr anniversary
2007 - 3-yr anniversary

How has Kevin changed? Mostly, he's changed like any other 2 1/2-year old changes by the time he's 6 1/2 years old. But he's also grown from a scared, quiet, clingy, eating machine into a social, expressive, hanger-on-for-basic-safety-but-not-out-of-fear, eating machine.

Perhaps the bigger change has been in me. I've changed from a beaten down, life-hating, tired, angry, selfish person who had a kid in the way of her life to a sometimes sparkling, sometimes life-loving, only sometimes tired, and sometimes unselfish person who can say to Kevin, "It's ok that you woke me up with your coughing - I only want to help you feel better and that is more important than me being grumpy in the morning."

Kevin's first catch

We camped at Greenbrier State Park in Boonsboro, MD, this weekend. The weather was BEAUTIFUL and we enjoyed hiking, kayaking, fishing and roasting hot dogs and marshmallows.

This was Kevin's first time using a hook on his fishing pole. He has practiced a lot in our yard with just a weight and is good at casting but never had to be that concerned about hurting anyone. Andy took quite a risk allowing Kevin to fish with him in the kayak.

The first day, Andy caught one fish and that was it. Fishing quickly became boring.
 

The second day, we fished from the shore with smaller hooks and Kevin caught his first-ever fish! And then he caught his second, third, fourth and fifth fish, too. He exclaimed that the fish was so heavy - I think he thought he was reeling in a marlin.
 

No pouty, bored face here!
 

I caught some fish, too.
 

Andy only caught one fish, but it was a Big Daddy (in Bluegill terms, anyway) - he coulda made a sandwich for lunch with this guy.

What to do when feeling blue about what usually makes me feel yellow

What do you do when what usually provides you with the most happiness becomes one of your biggest frustrations?

Here's my dilemma.

I love sports. I enjoy watching sports, I love to play sports. I regularly play ultimate [frisbee] a couple of times a week and volleyball once a week.

I spend a lot of time looking forward to games of any sport. I smile more talking about and playing sports than just about any other time. Sports energize me.

Usually.

Lately, that is not the case and it's thrown me for a loop. Last week's ultimate games were so frustrating I would've walked off the field mid-game if it wouldn't have drawn attention to me and my bad attitude. Last night I didn't want to go to my volleyball game. When I was playing, I would've been fine for the match to be over at any point. Afterward, I didn't feel like talking about how we played.

I'm apathetic about playing but also quick to anger when I do play. If someone makes 2 stupid plays in a row (mental mistakes, not just missing something) I get angry at them. When two people do it, forget it, I feel like stomping off the field. The anger I felt last week at myself and other players was so great that I would rather not play today.

This is coming from a woman who plays even when she has a migraine. This is coming from a woman who has driven 30 minutes home and 30 minutes back to work (during the work day and knowing the time would have to be made up in the evening) when she forgot clothes to play in. This is coming from a woman who knows what each player needs to hear, in order to decide to play on a day that they're not sure if they want to come out or not, so that she can get enough people for a game. This is coming from a woman who knows that she should get home to her family but instead stays for an extra hour of volleyball because it's impossible to pass up a chance to play doubles.

All my life I've had what people might call a "bad attitude" about things like my performance in sporting events. When I was young, I competed in gymnastics and I recall a distinct event when, during practice, I used a very serious curse word at my coach when I was 9 years old.

Over the past 10 years, I've gotten away from some of my more childish behaviors regarding sports, in particular. Now it seems as though I'm a kid again, unable to control her temper, wanting to stomp off in a huff.

Where did this come from? Why is it showing up now? How do I get rid of it???

Needs nobody

This comment, made last night by a dear person whom I love very much, provides a glimpse of the life of an extreme introvert. It was made thoughtfully and honestly.

"I have never missed anyone."

The mental picture is at least as good as real-life

Tell me you can read this without laughing:
(By the Associated Press as read in the Baltimore Sun)

MISSOULA, Mont. (AP) A middle school teacher suffered some bruising and a big scratch on his back after he struck a bear while riding his bicycle to school.

Jim Litz said he was traveling about 25 mph Monday morning when he came upon a rise and spotted a black bear about 10 feet in front of him. He didn't have time to stop and T-boned the bruin. [T-boned! Ha!]

He tumbled over the handlebars, his helmet hit the bear's back and the two went cartwheeling down the road.

The bear rolled over Litz's head, cracking his helmet, and scratched his back before scampering up a hill above the road. [I hope he got that spot right in the middle that's so hard to reach on your own.]

Litz's wife drove by shortly after the crash and took her husband to the hospital. He hoped to be able to return to teaching science at Target Range Middle School on Friday.

Lance Armstrong to be in 2009 Tour de France!

This summer's Tour de France passed by without any comment by me, at least not on this blog. That doesn't mean I didn't pay attention to it. That doesn't mean I didn't get wound up and excited about it. It just means I didn't write anything about it on my blog.

However, I have to comment on next year's Tour even though it is 10+ months away. Why? Because LANCE ARMSTRONG IS GOING TO RACE AGAIN!

Here is a VeloNews article about his return to professional racing.

Top Ten Things Overheard When the Neighborhood Girls Come Over to Play

10.) "Can Kevin come out to play?"
9.) "Can we play with your cat?"
8.) "I love foamy stickers!"
7.) "Where's your cat?"
6.) "Can we have a piece of candy?"
5.) "Can you go find your cat?"
4.) "Can you play SPUD with us?"
3.) "Can we give your cat a treat?"
2.) "First, we need to clean off this table - it's a mess."
1.) **squeal**!!!

My ankle is all better, right? Wrong.

Before vacation, I had a cortisone injection in the sheath of my peroneal tendons. It took care of the pain on the outside of my ankle but did nothing for the pain in the back of my ankle, which was a little better from wearing the boot for three weeks. After vacation, I restarted playing ultimate, very carefully at first. It felt ok, so I played some more. After the third time playing, I woke up the next morning with a very sore ankle that was swollen once again.

*sigh*

This week I had a followup appointment with my doctor and told him that the cortisone injection worked for only 2 weeks and did nothing for the pain in the back of my ankle. He revisited my MRI report and said, "Well, the radiologist noted signficant arthritis in there. You should see a specialist yadda, yadda, yadda...." I admit to zoning out when he said there was really arthritis in there. I pictured my grandfather who worked outside and lumberjacked "for fun" as a way to combat the painful arthritis in his spine and not succumb to a wheelchair as his father did from debilitating arthritis. I pictured my mom's hands which are becoming more gnarled as the years pass with arthritis in her fingers, despite the rest of her looking and acting like a much younger woman than she is.

I never found the presence of mind while in his office to ask why he hadn't mentioned that before. I also didn't ask how a slowly developing disease suddenly caused my ankle to swell and made me limp one morning.

Either way, he said I should go see a foot and ankle specialist (orthopedic surgeon, not podiatrist) at Union Memorial Hospital in Baltimore. Yesterday I decided to go ahead and make an appointment (earliest available is Nov 6th - next available is sometime after January) because I really want to know what the problem is although I had little hope of really finding out.

After making the appointment, I headed to Google yet again to search on ankle pain. I found - THE ANSWER. I discovered a description of the pain in the back of my ankle! It was the first time anything made sense regarding my ankle. The problem is called "posterior impingement of the ankle." Something in the back of my ankle is getting pinched, simple as that. Now the problem is to figure out what is getting pinched, and why, and then how to stop it from getting pinched. There are lots of possible causes for posterior impingement, including subtalar arthritis and an os trigonum getting in the way - both of which I've been told I have. The os trigonum is a bone that up to 10% of the population has in their ankle which usually causes no problems. X-rays when I was much younger showed I have that. So.... I could still have the arthritis as a problem, but how it is a problem makes more sense now. Or it could be something entirely different causing the impingement.

But now I have hope again that we can figure out the problem and work out a plan to take care of it. I look forward to November 6th.

Labor Day Kayaking

 
Oddly, this Great Blue Heron didn't flush even when I floated slowly by it fairly closely. They usually don't stick around that long.

 
The front of my boat. Can you find my camouflaged water bottle?

 
The engine of a train that roared overhead. The first time one of these came over the bridge while we were kayaking, I thought, "Wow, I'm gonna go float under the bridge as it goes over!" Then I realized that is way too scary and not worth the adrenaline. Sitting close by is ok - still exciting what with all the noise and rumbling. This picture was taken from farther away because there were other people watching from closer.

 
We hadn't been to this area - the Daniels Area of Patapsco Valley State Park - in about a month. Since the last time we were there, this part of the river just above the dam had filled in with a lot of greenery below and on the water. Andy looks like he's in a swamp somewhere.

Migraine Relief?

I've mentioned before that I suffer from migraines. There are different types of migraines and I have the kind that almost always starts with an aura which includes various visual disturbances such as "swiss cheese vision" (multiple blind spots) and silver, sparkly rivers. I also sometimes have hemisensory symptoms such as tingling and numbness in my body on the opposite side of the headache.

The aura occurs first and then after it subsides, the headache pain comes on. The hemisensory symptoms can occur during the aura or the headache and sometimes in the prodromal phase before any other symptoms occur - sometimes days before I get an aura and head pain.

Many migraine medications (including all of the triptans) are contraindicated in patients with hemisensory symptoms as the medications can cause stroke in those patients. That limits my options for migraine relief.

There's a new device coming on the market perhaps next year that provides drug-free relief to some migraine sufferers who experience migraine with aura. It provides an electrical pulse that zaps the migraine response out of the brain's nerves (that's the technical description) before the blood vessels can dilate, causing the headache pain.

Here is a local news story about it.

You can be sure that I'll keep a close eye on this one.

First Day of First Grade

 

Last year's photo here.

Anniversary Card

For my parents

True Love isn't just about finding someone who makes you feel happy. True Love isn't just about finding someone who says what you want to hear. True Love is about finding someone who you commit to being your best for but who understands when you're not. True Love is about finding someone like each of you found.

Squeezing the budget

Do you find time to pray? Do you make time to pray? What if the first thing you put in your schedule was time to pray?

This is a quote from Reverend Susan LaMar, pastor of a church near us:

My priorities are sleep first, meditation and prayer second, and everything else follows. If my day seems too busy to pray, I double the time I spend in prayer . . . and all else follows. And goes better. It is the tender offering that I give to that which I call God.

Do I dare try this? Would I even succeed at trying to double the time I spend in prayer instead of removing it from the schedule when I can't find space on the calendar for all of the other things? Can I handle what God might show me, say to me and ask of me if I do this?

Pandora Radio

Have you been to www.pandora.com? It's a cool music site that puts the Music Genome Project in your hands.

What is the Music Genome Project? It's "a group of musicians and music-loving technologists" who have listened to tens of thousands of songs to map them at a fundamental level. What does that mean for you? You can create your own stations, seeded with songs or artists that you like and then the information in the music genome project allows the site to play other songs like that, based on their "musicality" (did I make that word up?) For instance, maybe you like music that has a lot of vocal harmony and a driving rhythm guitar - then other songs that have that will be presented to you. Maybe songs you already know and love and probably some songs you didn't realize you'd like or have never even heard of!

Check it out - it's lots of fun to see what music it picks out for you based on your selections and it's also just an easy way to get a nice mix of tunes when you don't own an mp3 player. Ok, so I'm probably the only person left without one, but that's ok. You can also use Pandora on your iPhone.

Thanks to Elesa for showing me the Pandora site a couple of months ago - I use it all the time!

Precision Rafting Expeditions

If you're in Garrett County, MD, or nearby, and looking for a whitewater rafting trip of any level, check out Precision Rafting Expeditions. We went on a float trip last year with them and an easy whitewater trip with them this year and couldn't have been happier with our experience - and theirs!

Every guide that we encountered was friendly, learning everyones' names including people in other rafts, and highly experienced and knowledgeable. I kept telling our guide this year that it was hard for me to see myself heading right for a big rock and trust that he wouldn't let me slam into it and yet, he never let me slam into a big rock. I'd call that a successful trip.

Whitewater rafting the Cheat Narrows

Before getting in the raft - Andy, Dad, Dianne, Kevin in the front
 

My dad and me in the front, Kevin in the middle and Andy and our guide, Bill, in the back
 

Thrown for a loop, Bill reaches out to keep Kevin in the boat while I'm about to fall out of the boat myself and instinctively grab for anything to hold onto (Andy was there and he's pretty solid so I guess that was a good idea)
 

Through one of the rapids, Kevin sat in the front of the boat and got drenched - he loved it!
 

More Deep Creek Happenings

Kevin swam in the rain while I watched him in the rain
 

Eating homemade ice cream lakeside is enjoyable rain or shine
 

We spent a good bit of time just looking way cool
 

Deep Creek Vacation

It was supposed to rain a lot while we were on our vacation at Deep Creek Lake in western Maryland but, fortunately, it didn't rain the whole time. We had the chance to....

Kayak on Deep Creek Lake (my parents are pictured there), Herrington Manor Lake, Savage River Reservoir and New Germany Lake
 

Catch minnows and other fun things to study
 

Purchase delicious, fake lemonade through the car window from a cute little boy
 

And steal each other's food during picnic lunches
 

More to come in another post...

Timber!

 

The tree is down.

On Saturday, Andy felled the part that was stubbornly stuck to the trunk. It was a longer task than we expected with that piece just not wanting to fully detach itself from the trunk it had been a part of for so many years.

What amazes me most is how much EVERYONE who knew about the tree wanted to have a piece of it. I don't mean they all wanted the firewood, which some did, but that everyone wanted to help take it apart. They wanted to help with the lopping, the chopping and the chainsawing. Especially the chainsawing.

There's something really satisfying about all that hard, physical labor to rip something apart and control it and deep down everyone knows that.

Now the question is, who of our friends wants to tackle the rest of the tree that's still up in the sky? We're willing to give up that part to someone else :-)

Just like a professional athlete

My doctor injected cortisone into the peroneal tendon sheath in my ankle today. The process itself was no big deal but I did have some pain from the shot this afternoon. A little ice, a little ibuprofen and that feels ok. Now, I wait for the tendon pain to go away. Which it's going to do in another 1-2 days as the inflammation subsides.

It better, because we're leaving for vacation on Saturday. Deep Creek Lake, here we come!

Tendons are intact

Visited the doctor yesterday and found out there are no tears in my ankle tendons. That means there's no good reason for the pain and swelling I've been feeling! Just kidding. There is a lot of inflammation which is causing the pain but there's no significant cause for the inflammation. Treatment is to continue resting it (including wearing the boot) and taking anti-inflammatories. Another option is to get a cortizone injection to cut down on the inflammation which should lessen or get rid of the pain.

My plan is to rest and wear the boot as I have been through next week. On Tuesday of next week, I'll get a cortizone shot to hopefully get me through vacation the following week with little or no pain. The doctor thinks the shot will help me be able to do light hiking and other vacation activities as planned. Let's hope!

I can get up to 2 courses of cortizone and hopefully that will break the cycle of inflammation and pain. If it doesn't, I will continue to rest it and use anti-inflammatory medication as needed. Exploratory surgery is an option but we're a long way from considering it a viable option.

Because there are no tears, I'm no more likely to damage anything by playing through the pain than by playing when I have no pain. So... you can see that there's a darn good reason I first put in writing that I plan to rest my ankle as directed. Proof that I'm going to do that this time. Really. I mean it.

Guess what wii got?

 

Andy got lots of cardiovascular exercise boxing against a cartoon on the TV!

Fallen tree

We've made great progress on the tree. It's hard work, especially in the heat we've had here the past week, but it's been fun.

This first picture was taken from the back porch on the day the tree fell. All of those leaves you see are the top of the tree facing the house instead of the sky.
 

This picture was taken from the tomato garden to the left of the back porch on the day the tree fell. Only the top 1/4-1/3 of the tree is shown.
 

This picture was taken from the steps off the back porch, same perspective as the top picture but from closer, between the posts, today, ten days after the tree fell. [Editor's note: Yes, we know, there are a LOT of commas in that caption.]
 

The eyes of a doctor

Today I had an MRI of my ankle. The technician wouldn't give me any info (I know she's not supposed to but I asked anyway) and the radiologist wasn't in when I was at the office. My appointment with the orthopedic surgeon is on Tuesday so I won't hear a thing about the results of the MRI until then. That's a long time to wait, knowing that someone, somewhere knows what's up with my ankle and what we need to do next.

So what's a girl to do? Search the Web and pretend to be a doctor, of course! This site is great for looking at MRI images of a normal ankle. By comparing my films to the images on that site, I was able to pick out which views were which on my films and I could see my peroneal tendons (peroneus brevis and peroneus longus, to be exact) in some of the views. As far as I could tell, they looked just like the pictures of the normal ankle. However, the text I was reading at that site and others mentioned all sorts of things I should be noticing about "low signal" and "normal pockets of fluid" that meant nothing when I actually looked at the films.

How many images must a person look at before feeling confident that they know what's normal and what's not? And how does someone know what to look for in each part of the body? Even if I saw 50 images of ankles and started to have a feel for what's normal and what's abnormal, what if someone showed me an elbow or a head or a gut? I would be back to square one, knowing that I didn't know anything instead of just thinking that after 50 images I had some sort of a clue.

Happy Birthday to me

I'm 36 today! Still in my mid-30's but aiming toward 40. Although so many of my friends are 40+, it just doesn't seem like a big deal anymore.

When Andy turned 30, THAT was a big deal to me. I was only 24 so you can imagine how OLD 30 seemed. It's that first "big something-0" birthday because the "big 2-0" means nothing, what with the "big 2-1" on the way.

So, yeah, I'm fine with turning 36.

Zora the Explorer

 

This is a picture of Zora on our couch. On Friday and Saturday, she was a 'fraidy cat, staying under Kevin's bed unless we spent a long time coaxing her out. Now, she's a professional explorer walking around the living room, getting up on the couch, walking through the kitchen and hopping up on our bed (this morning for the first time.) She feels safe with each of us but now also seems to feel safe in general in a few rooms of our house. Safe enough to start exploring the rooms we haven't previously given her access to.

A new member of the family

Our 3-year catless streak is coming to an end! Meet Zora:



This is the shelter's picture of her. Kevin and I will bring her home from the shelter tomorrow afternoon so that she can have the rest of Friday plus all day Saturday and Sunday to get used to us and our house before we all head to work on Monday.

If a tree falls when nobody is home...

...does anyone hear it?

 
We lost half of one of our large maple trees in the back yard. There was no storm, no wind - we don't know why it chose yesterday to fall over.

 
It's pretty big!

 
Fortunately, it didn't hit our house but it was close - within a few feet of our porch. One of Kevin's swings was in it and one bird feeder, but only our clothesline got taken out by the fall.

 
The portion of tree that fell over provided most of our back yard shade. We have other large maples back there, but this was in the middle and covered the main area of our yard. I suspect we'll be able to grow grass there better now, but it won't be cool and shady anymore.