Most of the past year and a half, Kevin has pined for Andy whenever he's not
around and has shadowed him whenever he is. I've never had a problem
with that. Lots of people assume I'd be offended or hurt but I never have been.
Andy is more fun and has more patience than I do. So it never bothered me.
This morning, we had a friend over who Kevin likes to think of as his "little
sister." He treats her as such by helping her with things and he is quite patient
with the fact that she doesn't understand sharing as well as kids his age and such.
He even said today that he is like her big brother. And he does really well playing
with her and they both have a good time together. While she was here, I did some
housework but I also played with them and I played with Kevin by himself some
of the time as well. Then she left and I played with Kevin some more and then helped
him clean up his toys and then we had a snack and played some more. Then we
went over to the friend's house to have lunch with her and her real big brother
and then they all played together. I spent time in the playroom with them playing
with Kevin. Then we went to the grocery store and he had a snack when we came
home. I read email and he started to get frustrated. He began the 2-hour long
session of asking, "When is Papa coming home?" I told him how long it would
be and I got him to talk through his feelings about why he wanted Papa home and
it all comes down to wanting to play with him and he doesn't want to play by himself.
Now, did I make him play by himself all day?? I have tried to before, but I
most definitely did not today! And I don't like the playing so I know when I
a lot of it and when I don't.
The last time Kevin said, "I want Papa to come home now. I want to play with him now,"
I stifled the urge to yell, "Have I not played with you today? Have I not made
sure that you had the chance to play with other kids both at home and at
their house? Did I not allow you to pick something out at the grocery store
just for you? Did I not make sure you had a full stomach and clothes on
your back? Tell me - what did Papa do for you yet today???!!"
I know that I didn't used to be worth being around because I wasn't a good mom.
But now? Now I'm a good mom and my son better start to recognize!