I'm a short, overweight and timid woman - hear me roar

I drove to the playground this afternoon and was the only parent actually on the playground. The others were playing tennis and such. So when I heard the teenage boys ram their motorized scooter into the port-a-john around the corner, I knew it was up to me to nip the hooligans in the butt - er, bud. It's unlike me to stick my nose into something that doesn't actually wrap itself around my nose so this is why I have to write about it.

I decided that I'd just let my presence be known. The kids were fooling around on the other side of the trees and probably had no idea that so many people were in the park. So I held my chin up high (up to about their chests) and walked confidently (I'm a good actress) around the bend and directly toward them. Kevin followed and asked what I was doing so I said rather loudly, "I'm just seeing who is making all this noise over here and checking out their cars." I committed their makes and models to memory plus the beginning of their license plate #'s just so I would have fire power should they choose to confront me. Of course if they did, I wouldn't have stuck around long enough to show them that I'd remember them. But anyway, they pretty quickly hopped in their cars and took off, leaving their poor friend on the scooter by himself. When he realized they were leaving, he picked up the scooter and ran to catch up, losing his fashionable drawers down by his knees. It was funny watching this guy try to hold onto the scooter and his pants and run up the park road to catch up with his rapidly retreating friends.

When he was passing us Kevin asked me what he was doing. I enjoyed the moment to teach them both that, "When people do bad things, the first reaction is usually to run. That's also when you find out how true your friends really are."

One of the cars waited for the scooter guy at the top of the hill and I kept walking toward them until they took off and I couldn't see them anymore. Then I turned around to return to the playground and while feeling seriously proud and empowered, I started to shake and got light-headed.