Wednesday, July 28, 2004

True safety

I think that Jen Lemen is a great writer. To be a great writer is nothing if you don't have good ideas to work with. They might be your own or they could be someone else's. Jen's are her own and she expresses them beautifully. Here is an example (it's kinda long, but worth it)



My first thought while reading her post is that her confession of why she's not a good mother (in the traditional sense) isn't how I see things. I'm the opposite of Jen in MANY ways - I am not an artist, I'm not a free-thinker, I like to color between the lines and I rarely veer outside of myself to take an unknown side road just to see what's there to find. I expect to be the kind of mother whose children have combed hair and clean rooms and 3 square meals a day plus 2 healthy snacks. But I hope to grow as a parent into someone who also nurtures their souls the way that Jen describes she does.



My second thought while reading her post is that I'm surprised that she and I share in the wonderment of how to raise children to have true faith while questioning our own (I was pretty sure she had that all figured out.) I have a lot of questions about God, about Jesus, about my role in their world, about "salvation", about... well, you name it. I understand that kids understand concrete concepts, but I can't formulate my beliefs into concrete concepts. I don't know what I believe half the time. So how will I tell my children what I believe? I think about that a lot. I have some ideas and I expect it'll all work out in the end (they'll have plenty of other people to help them along, as well as God, of course) but it's not something I can wrap my brain around right now.



Here is a great thought from jen:

but the words kept flowing out of me. they still do. and i wonder sometimes now if they are deeper truths of my soul. the things i really believed deep down before i grew up and got smarter and learned words to quantify love. i wonder if the truth of madeleine's innocence called out the truth of mine, that deep down i remembered somewhere that perfect love does cast out all fear. that true safety lies in the confidence that i am always present in the arms of God. no matter what.

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