Monday, August 16, 2004

The Recurrence of a Recurring Dream

My recurring dream which (I thought had) stopped recurring has recurred. Starting in January 2003, I had a dream on multiple occasions with exactly the same theme taking place in different locations. The locations weren't important - the theme of the dream was. After the 5th or 6th occurrence of the dream in a few months, I searched online on a whim to see what the great dream sages had to say about my unconscious thoughts. I found some information at one site that seemed to make a lot of sense. I challenged it by looking at some of the other search results and found similar information with even further detail into some of the images in my dream. There was the, "Such and such image represents this thing" from the first site and at the second site I found, "Such and such image represents this thing. And if the such and such image is further described with blase blah attributes, then it means this thing with yadda yadda attributes."

So was the information that I found very generic, like a horoscope, or was it spot-on to a particular situation I was dealing with? It was spot-on. And I was weirded-out by it. But, I was glad to have further understanding of what was going on. The dream was gross and I wanted it to stop.

Last fall my community/small/bible study group worked through a study that challenged me to deal with the situation to which my dreams were a reaction. I dealt with it with less than spectacular results. But, I had made the attempt and felt freed by it. I stopped having the dream.

That was earlier this year that I actually faced the situation and then last night I had the dream again. I didn't recognize it while I was in the dream, as I had learned to do when I was having the dreams in the past, but a few minutes after I woke up, I realized what happened. And I can see that something happened yesterday to bring back up what I thought was gone from my psyche. Clearly it's not and I could tell that consciously yesterday, but apparently my sub/unconsciousness wanted to make sure that I really, really knew that this situation still exists.

I suppose I should be happy that this means I will go through a growth spurt as I deal with this, but you know, growth hurts in the short-term and I'm a very instant-gratification kinda girl.

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